Friday, December 21, 2012

Fuck you Delhi

Friday, 21st December,


In the midst of hollering media coverage about the unsafe conditions of women in Delhi, this man resonates my head. The best part about this article is that it has no 'rape', 'capital', 'molestation' or 'assault' in it. Deliciously insightful.

And the last line made me chuckle

City of Sperms:
About a village called Delhi
June, 2009. Open Magazine
Like a rich man's son, Delhi is a beneficiary of undeserved privileges. That is at the heart of Bombay's contempt for Delhir
By Manu Joseph

He is a large amiable boy who smiles at breasts as if they are acquaintances. He suspects he is good looking, and he probably is, especially when he is quiet. A pretty white girl walks into this London pub and he nudges the elbow of a friend. As his eyes follow her to the far corner, his face assumes a sudden seriousness. He then takes her pictures with his phone camera. He tries to meet the eyes of any woman in the pub so that he can flash a smile. He has heard that white women are broadminded. "I like to hear white women scream under me," he says. A Bengali sitting beside him says he must become a midwife then. Everybody laughs. He stares at the Bengali who is a much smaller man, and he slaps him a few times. Others now rise and try to drag him away. He growls, not metaphorically but really growls. And he says, "I'm a baaad guy, I'm a baaad guy." He is, of course, a jat from Delhi whose matrimonial ad had once said, accurately, that he is from a good family. He has travelled the world. He studied briefly in the First World, even. There are thousands like him in Delhi, the natural habitat of a kind.
Delhi is a vast medieval town of indisputable botanical beauty, spectacular red ruins, Sheila Dixit, and other charms. Its women, rumoured to be high maintenance as if there is another kind, take so much care of themselves that one would think the men are worth it (but they make a gesture that suggests puking when asked to confirm). Space is not compressed here. Everything is far from everything else. There are real gardens where you do not see the exit when you stand at the entrance. It has sudden small parks that in Bombay would have been called, 'Chhatrapati Shivaji Mini Forest'. Homes have corridors, and they are called corridors, not half-bedrooms. Yet, Delhi has a bestial smallness of purpose.
Those men there who drive the long phallic cars, sometimes holding a beer bottle in one hand, there is something uncontrollable about them. Even for a man, it is hard to understand their mutation. What is the swagger about? What is the great pride in driving your father's BMW, what is the glory in being a sperm? And what is the great achievement in stepping on the accelerator? It is merely automobile engineering—press harder on the pedal and the car will move faster. Why do you think a girl will mate with you for that? It is somehow natural that the contemporary version of Devdas, Anurag Kashyap's Dev D, would be set in Delhi, where a man can debase himself because life does not challenge him, he has no purpose, whose happiness is a type of sorrow. This motiveless Delhi male, you can argue, can be found in Bombay too, where not all BMWs are hard earned. But that's not very different from saying Bombay, too, has bungalows.
Like a rich man's son, Delhi is a beneficiary of undeserved privileges. That is at the heart of Bombay's contempt for Delhi. Bombay is a natural city, like all great port cities of the world. It was not created. It had to arrive at a particular moment in time, it was an inevitability caused by geography, shipping and shallow waters. Bombay eventually earned its right to be a financial force through the power of enterprise, which created a system that allowed, to some extent, anyone to stake a claim at wealth through hard work. That culture still exists. It is the very basis of Bombay. That is the whole point of Bombay.

But Delhi as a centre of power is an inheritance, a historical habit. An unbearable consequence of this is the proximity of easy funds for various alleged intellectual pursuits which has enabled it to appropriate the status of intellectual centre. It is a scholarship city, a city of think tanks, of men who deal in discourse, debates and policies. And of fake serious women who wear the sari the other way and become leftists, nature lovers and diurnal feminists.

Delhi, often, confuses seriousness with intelligence and humour with flippancy. People will not be taken seriously here if they are not, well, serious. There is much weight attached to the imagined sophistication of talk, of gas. It is a city of talkers. There is always The Discussion. When you are in Delhi, you have to talk, and then they talk, and they appear to be solving an enigma, they seem headed towards achieving some revelation. But then, you realise, they were peeling an onion, an act that leads to more peels and at the heart of it all, there is nothing. Delhi is an onion. It is a void-delivery device.

Of course, all this is a generalisation, but then generalisation is a form of truth. One of the most repulsive images I bear in mind of Delhi is a scene in JNU, when Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez delivered a special lecture. It was like a rock concert and Chavez, who is a scion of the same imbecilic philosophy that once destroyed the great economies of South America, was the star. As students pumped their hands in the air and cheered him for his anti-capitalist calling, I looked at their faces. I knew those faces. They were from homes that once profited from India's socialist corruption, and then from Manmohan's revolution. They were hip. They would, of course, later join MNCs and chuckle at their youthful romanticism. That moment in JNU was despicable because it captured a meaningless aspect of Delhi's fiery intellectuality, and also laid bare the crucial difference between intellectuality, which is borrowed conviction, and intelligence, which is creativity, innovation and original analysis.

It is for the same reason that the greatest misfortune of Indian journalism is that it is headquartered in Delhi. Needless to say, like in any other city, Delhi has astonishingly talented editors, journalists and writers, but there is a Delhi mental condition which is incurable—a fake intensity, a fraudulent concern for 'issues', the grand stand. Readers, on the other hand, have many interests today apart from democracy, policies and the perpetual misery of the poor. But the Indian media, based in Delhi, refused to see it until recently and very grudgingly, when The Times of India proved it. It is not a coincidence that The Times Group, the most profitable media organisation in India, is based in Bombay. It is not a coincidence that the game changer came from here. In Bombay it is hard to convert air from either side of your alimentary canal into cash. You have to do something here. You have to work. It is appropriate that the National School of Drama, with its phoney distaste for money, is in Delhi. And commercial cinema is in Bombay.

It must be said though that in recent times Delhi has become somewhat more endearing. This is partly because of Bombay's own degradation and its loss of modernity, and partly because of a remarkable cultural irony. Bombay's films were increasingly becoming pointless because, like Delhi has those silver sperms in BMWs, Bombay's film industry, too, suffers the curse of the privileged lads whose fathers were something. As actors with no real talent they could still survive, but some who did not look so good could do nothing more than remaking movies about love and parental objection. Then two things happened. The flops of the brainless boys from the film families gave opportunities to talent that had arrived from all over the country, including what is called North India. They were waiting, and when they got a chance they created a new kind of commercial cinema in which Bombay was not necessarily the focus. That resulted in the startling revelation here that Bombay is a culturally impoverished, rootless setting compared to Delhi. What films like Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! and Dev D have achieved as hilarious, poignant and self deprecatory narrations of the North Indian way of life, has changed Hindi cinema, probably forever. So Delhi is being seen a bit differently in Bombay, with some affection too. Though, the best thing about Delhi will always be its winter. When there is this mist. And you do not see its people.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Saturday, 18th December,
Dentsu office

Reporting after a humongous gap. Guilty as charged. A lot to write about the M.P gazab hai trip but first things first.

In exactly forty minutes I am going to release more guilt from my system. It's going to be pathetic telling Falooda that he didn't make the cut. even more pathetic, to tell him it has nothing to do with him. He was always been there as a jester, amusing me thrilling me until one day I refused to get amused or thrilled. I am the villain of my film, just like each time. 

Monday, December 3, 2012

For posterity sake

Saturday, 30th November
Elf room.

This was long overdue. To appease my nagging conscience, I sent this to all the people that mattered at Mudra


Foot soldier marches on

Fate works funnily. On Friday morning, while you were busy packing bags to move into a new office I was packing bags to move into a new agency. My exit became my disappearance. And I am not particularly happy about leaving this way. I am reminded of Eliot, who said something about the world ending not with a bang but with a whimper... well such is life.
The reason I write to you is to thank you most sincerely for doing your bit to make my Mudra journey a little more joyful, the nights of pitches a little less rough, the ride back home a little less inconvenient. I regret that I couldn't communicate this to you in person but as they say in advertising, if your idea is strong it finds itself a medium. :):)
Good luck to you. Looking forward to work with you in future
Anisha

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

My generation

10.pm, November 28th
The Elf room

I'm born in a wrong generation. proper misfit. 100% affirmed. Just what on earth makes me say this- a humbly made film on the humble efforts of a pirate radio station to thrive rock n roll in the late 60's of a regimental Britain. it's called The boat that rocked . it's funny, its savoury and it has a helluva soundtrack. Even though the narrative appears to be losely stitched it made for a perfect mid-week holiday film. Not to forget, a stunning ensemble of anglicized comedians juggling the daily banal with a tinch of irreverence.
I'm guessing you would've known by now, i didn't leave my bed all day, staying faithful to my sloth tendencies. woke up at 1 pm, watched, read, slept, woke up, downloaded music, watched, surfed, now typing. who was that wise man who said the power of doing nothing exceeds the most fascinating of superpowers... oh right it was me :)

meanwhile here's the awesome soundtrack of The boat that rocked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSo1ut38myc

Sunday, November 25, 2012

About Gods in advertising

Sunday, 25th November
Dentsu office

Woke up feeling cold. The doomed Delhi winter is all set to clench us in its claws. Did I not tell you how depressed i get in winters. I would have been dead 10 years ago if I were born in a Scandinavian country. On a slightly bright side, Delhi winter offers a perfectly justifiable excuse to fuck off to south. January first week, you better meet outside Delhi. Till then, yours truly plans to camp in the warm confines confines of this Japanese penthouse. Today, for instance was quite okay in office. Ran into advertisingGod#2 while deboarding the metro at Gurgaon. Udi, is a proper hipster with or without alcohol. It's been four years since I have been following his blog. He continues to dazzle. Speaking of advertising Gods must  visit Sally Hogshead blog. She's a maverick writer from what I have read of her in Hey Whipple.

one of her best lines for a BMW bike
She wonders why she sometimes feels like a third wheel.

Got into office digged a few things on internet. Got some work done with Miss partner. she's quiet but appears to be good in her work but then I have a badass habit of overestimating people's worth as first judgement. I'll allow time to judge my judgement. Digged gossip on David Duchovny. His interviews are classy and cool just like his onscreen character. Ordered Mcegg and Chicken Mcgrill for lunch. Mcegg was terrific as a first timer. Typing with enormous guilt. Read. browsed. wasted time. Cab waiting downstairs. until tomorrow.


Saturday,
November 24th,


Nothing to report much. Sandy storm and Dexter left flew back to U.S. I am going to miss the child they brought out in me along with making random calls to people about how bad boys are after them and Captain America is coming to rescue them if they behave well. and shedding weight by doing ninja kicks. The child is replaced by a whimpy adult already. See.



Saturday, November 24, 2012

Hello and Goodbye

Friday, November 23
Dentsu office
10.19 p.m

I am here. Finally here, working in India's smallest ad agency(among the biggies) which happens to be the world's largest. How do I feel? If I were to tell in one word, the word I choose is jet-lagged  The four month stint at Mudra feels like being on a train that was running way behind its schedule. I am worn out, I am always spilling coffee in the vending machine,  I have been calling people by wrong names including my boss's sir name. I am not kidding. I forget Tower A is where my office is which has earned me the title of " the girl who walks into the wrong office" Is it really my fault, if all the buildings in Gurgaon look like lego blocks stacked on top of each other. Despite all that, I feel much better. I feel alive. I feel free. I feel good about the world. Especially when I gaze at the Sub- of -the- day board before taking the lift to 10th floor. If happiness is bringing yourself to work for a Subway break, I am a happy soul.

Anyway, going back in time.

Wednesday,
November 21
Woke up with a shooting pain in my belly. Explains the troubling hormones the night before. Happened before its due date this time, which isn't really a complaint because it meant an early end to the hormonal saga. Dressed up, dragged myself to Mudra in a murderous mood. Walked into the office to a rather quiet Flu-face. He gave me cold shoulders rest of the day. I didn't mind. All said and done, I have been disloyal to him which entitles him to his moment of remorse. the day passed in discussing Dentsu with friendly people in office. left early. Met Falooda. we were suppose to meet at Moolchand metro station. he called up to tell me he's at a nearby Haldirams. Finally, we met on a street because Halidrams was giving him a bad vibe. He brought a compensatory gift for ipad disaster. it was awesome. I got Watchment and Sandman. Before that must finish Stupid boy goes to India. Day ended fooling around with Sandy storm and Dexter.

Thursday,
November 22
Joined Dentsu, without leaving Mudra. I am a case study for unethical copywriters. Met a lot of new people. Can barely recall more than 3 names. Boss shook hands and welcomed me. No long lecture, no corny pep talk. His introductory words were "Welcome on board. I hope you shine". I returned a warm smile. Served day one with absolute ease.  Was asked to coin names for a soon to be launched liquid filled gum by D.S group. I was told a lot of writers have had a collective shit on this brief. Somebody in the past had shared Hukumut Khan. Guffawed at writer's imagination. Ordered Chicken Seekh sub at the Subway, letched at good looking boys in corporate attire. Got out quickly on seeing one of them stare back. Got back, did some thinking on canon. Called it a day.

Friday,
November 23
Went to Mudra office for the ceremonial goodbye session. The office was full of packed cartons with names written on them save for my work station. Those guys are moving to new office, I am moving to new agency. Fate, sure has a sense of humour. Had a heart to heart talk with flu-face with the intention to end things well. He professed something about advertising, i nodded. He professed more and asked me to keep in touch. Bid goodbye to everyone. Walked into Dentsu. Goofed on the internet. Shared ideas on Canon with boss. He asked me to get them executed. Congratulated myself for having a good start. Had a text chat with Math. Felt even better.

Cheers to smooth ending and beginning.
Till we meet again.