My generation

10.pm, November 28th
The Elf room

I'm born in a wrong generation. proper misfit. 100% affirmed. Just what on earth makes me say this- a humbly made film on the humble efforts of a pirate radio station to thrive rock n roll in the late 60's of a regimental Britain. it's called The boat that rocked . it's funny, its savoury and it has a helluva soundtrack. Even though the narrative appears to be losely stitched it made for a perfect mid-week holiday film. Not to forget, a stunning ensemble of anglicized comedians juggling the daily banal with a tinch of irreverence.
I'm guessing you would've known by now, i didn't leave my bed all day, staying faithful to my sloth tendencies. woke up at 1 pm, watched, read, slept, woke up, downloaded music, watched, surfed, now typing. who was that wise man who said the power of doing nothing exceeds the most fascinating of superpowers... oh right it was me :)

meanwhile here's the awesome soundtrack of The boat that rocked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSo1ut38myc

About Gods in advertising

Sunday, 25th November

Dentsu office

Woke up feeling cold. The doomed Delhi winter is all set to clench us in its claws. Did I not tell you how depressed i get in winters. I would have been dead 10 years ago if I were born in a Scandinavian country. On a slightly bright side, Delhi winter offers a perfectly justifiable excuse to fuck off to south. January first week, you better meet outside Delhi. Till then, yours truly plans to camp in the warm confines confines of this Japanese penthouse. Today, for instance was quite okay in office. Ran into advertisingGod#2 while deboarding the metro at Gurgaon. Udi, is a proper hipster with or without alcohol. It's been four years since I have been following his blog. He continues to dazzle. Speaking of advertising Gods must  visit Sally Hogshead blog. She's a maverick writer from what I have read of her in Hey Whipple.

one of her best lines for a BMW bike

She wonders why she sometimes feels like a third wheel.

Got into office digged a few things on internet. Got some work done with Miss partner. she's quiet but appears to be good in her work but then I have a badass habit of overestimating people's worth as first judgement. I'll allow time to judge my judgement. Digged gossip on David Duchovny. His interviews are classy and cool just like his onscreen character. Ordered Mcegg and Chicken Mcgrill for lunch. Mcegg was terrific as a first timer. Typing with enormous guilt. Read. browsed. wasted time. Cab waiting downstairs. until tomorrow.

Saturday,
November 24th,


Nothing to report much. Sandy storm and Dexter left flew back to U.S. I am going to miss the child they brought out in me along with making random calls to people about how bad boys are after them and Captain America is coming to rescue them if they behave well. and shedding weight by doing ninja kicks. The child is replaced by a whimpy adult already. See.

Hello and Goodbye

Friday, November 23
Dentsu office
10.19 p.m

I am here. Finally here, working in India's smallest ad agency(among the biggies) which happens to be the world's largest. How do I feel? If I were to tell in one word, the word I choose is jet-lagged  The four month stint at Mudra feels like being on a train that was running way behind its schedule. I am worn out, I am always spilling coffee in the vending machine,  I have been calling people by wrong names including my boss's sir name. I am not kidding. I forget Tower A is where my office is which has earned me the title of " the girl who walks into the wrong office" Is it really my fault, if all the buildings in Gurgaon look like lego blocks stacked on top of each other. Despite all that, I feel much better. I feel alive. I feel free. I feel good about the world. Especially when I gaze at the Sub- of -the- day board before taking the lift to 10th floor. If happiness is bringing yourself to work for a Subway break, I am a happy soul.

Anyway, going back in time.

Wednesday,
November 21
Woke up with a shooting pain in my belly. Explains the troubling hormones the night before. Happened before its due date this time, which isn't really a complaint because it meant an early end to the hormonal saga. Dressed up, dragged myself to Mudra in a murderous mood. Walked into the office to a rather quiet Flu-face. He gave me cold shoulders rest of the day. I didn't mind. All said and done, I have been disloyal to him which entitles him to his moment of remorse. the day passed in discussing Dentsu with friendly people in office. left early. Met Falooda. we were suppose to meet at Moolchand metro station. he called up to tell me he's at a nearby Haldirams. Finally, we met on a street because Halidrams was giving him a bad vibe. He brought a compensatory gift for ipad disaster. it was awesome. I got Watchment and Sandman. Before that must finish Stupid boy goes to India. Day ended fooling around with Sandy storm and Dexter.

Thursday,
November 22
Joined Dentsu, without leaving Mudra. I am a case study for unethical copywriters. Met a lot of new people. Can barely recall more than 3 names. Boss shook hands and welcomed me. No long lecture, no corny pep talk. His introductory words were "Welcome on board. I hope you shine". I returned a warm smile. Served day one with absolute ease.  Was asked to coin names for a soon to be launched liquid filled gum by D.S group. I was told a lot of writers have had a collective shit on this brief. Somebody in the past had shared Hukumut Khan. Guffawed at writer's imagination. Ordered Chicken Seekh sub at the Subway, letched at good looking boys in corporate attire. Got out quickly on seeing one of them stare back. Got back, did some thinking on canon. Called it a day.

Friday,
November 23
Went to Mudra office for the ceremonial goodbye session. The office was full of packed cartons with names written on them save for my work station. Those guys are moving to new office, I am moving to new agency. Fate, sure has a sense of humour. Had a heart to heart talk with flu-face with the intention to end things well. He professed something about advertising, i nodded. He professed more and asked me to keep in touch. Bid goodbye to everyone. Walked into Dentsu. Goofed on the internet. Shared ideas on Canon with boss. He asked me to get them executed. Congratulated myself for having a good start. Had a text chat with Math. Felt even better.

Cheers to smooth ending and beginning.
Till we meet again.

3.3o p.m
Wednesday 21st November
Mudra office

I know you notice the gap between my posts and wonder why I am hell bent on defeating the purpose of this blog. I notice it too. Not too proud of it either. How about a little recap of the days that went by  starting from today...

2.45 am
Wednesday 21st November
Elf Room
Felt pathetic about self and the world at large. Spoke to Math, spoke to Falooda, Spoke to flu-face. the third one, not out of choice ofcourse. Perhaps it's all the talking that has caused the hurt. I feel I have been transported to 2050 and I can't seem to comprehend what's going around. All I see around is confusing blaring lights and unwelcoming sounds. On the flip-side, what I have described might just be the outcome of sleep deficiency. Sur le fil playing in the background is of great aid as a CPR.

Things I learnt today:

-No amount of intelligence can salvage the consequences of short temper. Flu face is a gifted writer and A list ass-hole. One comes complimentary with another. No matter how thick skinned I try on, I can't stand his presence beyond a point. His negativity finds you across the hall. All the self-consoling bathroom talks fades away in no time. All I crave at the end of the day is for someone to gift me the license to come out of his room with a blood stained machete.

-Math causes me unintentional hurt. He simply does. I wish he didn't. I detest his widsom, I detest the fact, that he indulges me to think. that he broadens my perspective about things. that he mocks my growingly hollow life. That despite all this, he can't make up his mind about what he wants from me and even if he has, he's done nothing to communicate it to me.

-I have to rewatch Before Sunrise to have a revised opinion on it.

-My libidinal drive has hit rock-bottom. I should think of a career in church after having sworn to never flee my eyes upon Adrian Broody's billboard in the process.

-I hate how I let hormones dictate my days. Fuck you P.M.S. You're one shade worse than acne.


Friday, November 16
Came to work brimming with lethargy. Breaking up with a job is not very different from breaking up with a boy. No matter, what you do, there is no such thing as a good break up. it's only the degree of difficulty that varies with each boy/job. I was subjected to a lot of derision from the senior management. Was made to horrible about making an impulsive decision, skillfully disguised in sarcasm. I nodded, went home to Soham (Sandy storm) and Shubh (Dexter aka country game nerd). They're playful and funny. I am surprised that even though I can't match up to their energy, I haven't got tired of them.

Sandy storm calls me Ganesha because he barely knows a handful of Hindi names and Ganesha being one of them, operates as a suitable replacement for Anisha. He is  3. he is American. I can't blame him really. Can I?

More on them coming soon. Tata.

7.03 pm
Elf Room, New Delhi

Diwali is over.Gambling unfortunately isn't. I have a bunch of unlikeable uncles in the house and I am going to hibernate till they are gone. I agree with you I am a grouchy anti social cat. what is making me grouchier is that I am inflating little by little each day after the gym membership expired. the worse part is I can feel it so strongly yet I am doing a brilliant job of ignoring it. I can go on and on about this, always a touchy subject.

I tried nudging the hell out of Math even though nudging people is against my nature. All these days I have been bending down to get him on radar and now I am close to giving up. No amount of play-it-cool self talk seems to be working. It has to be all or none. His lack of response initiates the end of a long bred Cindrella romance.

I forgot to mention, I returned Falooda's present from the States. It was an ipad, I would've yelled at him had I not been in a public place, that too with people of his colour in majority. No body thrills the idea of a couple fight, leave alone an inter-racial one.

I feel I am not particularly in a writing state of mind today. So i'll stop. Until tomorrow.

Happy shiny people mood today

1.21 am
Elf Room, New Delhi

Bustling with excitement. real life excitement in real time. the story of the self feels like a yummy desert in absolute tandem with the festive mood. Insert an upbeat song here. Visited the new workplace to meet the team. Saw a subway outlet in the office complex. It brought a nine inch grin on my face. Entered office, saw a bunch of drumset sitting majestically in one corner. Got sold. Universe works in funny ways, since last two weeks I have been pestering Ron to take me to his friend's apartment to get rid of my drumming itch and voila it lands from nowhere into my lap much like the job offer. Let me tell you at the preset, I am no Kurt Cobain of drumming but I am looking forward to give it a nice tap. Boss said, he made the decision of hiring me by reading my self-promoting ad. I'll attach it for reference.I am kinda smug about that. s.m.u.g  yo!

Later, in the evening ambled about with my 17 going on 27 cousin in her neighbourhood. She'a a perky cross between an emo and a jat. Learnt the difference between jat and jaat. Apparently, one is a khara punjabi who drives Mercedes car a`la Oye Lucky to seek ladies' attention while the latter is some Khaap practicing believing Haryana boy who spends his time dreaming of Mercedes car to seek ladies' attention.  Smoked Black. it's smooth clove flavour was fervently ticklish. Drove back home in my soon-to-be Wagon R. Forgot to release the hand break after some distance, bit my tongue in embarrassment afterwards. driving as I've always said is a great focus-improving exercise or atleast till the time you don't wind up in jail because of some shit-faced BMW driving jerk.

later mayter folks.

P.s the ad

11 Reasons why you should hire me over the bloke with a briefcase sitting next to me.

1. I think fast like Flash, the superhero. Faster than maggi noodles, faster than Nolan’s narrative. If they included 200m brain racing in Olympics, I would be nominated.

                                                                                                                     

2. I spend about 5k on coffee every month. I am alert and sufficiently nocturnal for late-night brainstorming. (zzzzzzzzzzzz. What’s that? )

3.  I get overwhelming numbers of likes on the one-liners I post on facebook. I know a lot of celebrities have re-tweeted my epigrams.

4. I wouldn’t twitch my forehead or clamp my fist listening to words like “Brief”, “Out of the box”, “The deadline is tomorrow”, “Client likes it but wouldn’t mind a few more options”. To tell you the truth, I practice zen on the hallowed commode of my bathroom.

5. My mommy once said to me with a look of scientific discovery in her eye,

“I know why you are incapable of thinking straight, well you are a breach baby!”

6. I have a record of hangover free mornings. I drink smart, I wouldn’t mumble your brilliant idea to the rival agency writer or miss work due to subdural hematoma of liver.

7. My favourite posture is placing my feet at an acute angle to my upper body while writing scripts. Just like the gentleman in Copy book. Unfortunately I am born  slightly late or I would have patented my style.           

8. People ask me all the time if I am insane, and I am forced to quote Sheldon: “I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.

9. I like advertisements more than T.V shows. Short and sweet, just like this line.

  

10. I have to refrain myself from cracking jokes like this:

Which electronic gadget must come with ‘Rolling in the deep’ as its signature tune

Ans. A Dell                                                                                                                              

11. If I don’t work as a copywriter, I’ll spend my life thinking/ideating about destroying the world. I might just be who Mayans warned you against.

 

                                               

11.11.12
Elf room, New Delhi

It's hard to not get consumed by the festival fiesta when you're in Delhi. Any festival. We're always looking out for reasons to splurge. I am no saint. Got lured by the intoxicating look of the espresso machine in a random market today. Got it wrapped in a shiny paper as Diwali gift for mom(me) It's strange when you start earning, the places that you'd never paid heed to begin to lure you all of a sudden. you feel possessed by a carnal instinct to spend till the time you can afford. The carnal logic of capitalism. I am going to spoon that cup. ha ha okay I have to stop obsessing over this.

On other news, met Falooda. He was silly and affectionate. I was silly and disconnected. I still can't put a finger to why I am acting like a douchebag towards him. Is there a secret code people follow to remain together once the attraction fades off. I can't seem to figure out. I'm guessing effortless sex might be the only reason to put up with each other's hormonal trips and mindless talking and bed farting. My attitude towards him is steadily changing. Even though we haven't had a fight, something tells me we're on our way to have one. And I can't seem to care much. I probably represent the community of cock-less men known to lose interest in the opposite sex once the chase is over. (Bad) Talking of bad boys, I am totally smitten by Hank Moody's character in Californication. How many men do i know of who can look like a dreamboat and make me you weak in the knees when they open their mouth. I vaguely know of one. Perfect letch material. But coming back to David Duchovny, he's a sex god in the show. drool. slurp. in that order.

Long busy day tomorrow. Mustering the courage to break it to people in the office about my unethical and uncompromising ways. good luck flu-face finding a person who doesn't want to strangle you to death

The return of the three month curse

Elf room, New Delhi

2.41 am

Typically a title like this follows a huge rant on the shrinking shelf life of my relationships. I have little memory of being intimately involved with someone for more than 3 months. I call this the 3 month curse. However, this is not about that.

In exactly five days, I will complete 3 months in my current agency. I am yet to receive my appointment letter. H.R says, the documents have to be processed in Ahemdabad office which usually takes up a lot of time. This  is one of the MANY fucked up things I was quick to notice after joining my current agency (I'll come to it shortly). In exactly 9 days, I am going to sign appointment letter offered by a different agency in the same city. Now this might sound boastful at first. To tell you the truth, I take zero proud in the sheer dilemma it has caused me in the last 24 hours.
Now, it's not uncommon for people to change agencies in a profession like advertising within a short span of time. But 3 months is exceedingly short for any profession anywhere on this planet. To your miffed face, I present a list of reasons for such a risk-bearing career move.

1. I have been unhappy for as long as I can remember. Keeping shallow things like waging a daily war on cockroaches and an overdose of honey Singh while trying to concentrate on writing headlines aside, going to office every day feels like I have been doing an unacknowledged favour to the world. this obviously doesn't sound like a place that promises 'motivating environment', 'healthy competition' or 'a hotbed of opportunities'-you know all those fancy words career counsellers love to flaunt and classifieds love to flash at you. Even with reasonable expectations, it has only poisoned my faith in advertising day after day and weekends spent glumly in office, one after another

2. I have built an amazing hate-hate-hate-hate-love-hate-hate relationship with flu-face. he makes a classic case study for mad genius. His mind is razor-sharp and his tongue is razor-biting. I haven't met a single person in the agency who can stand him beyond 7 minutes. I have kept mathematics out of this. Most people give him a look of snare after talking to him for 3 minutes. but of course he's too busy to step out of himself to notice. He's had a scarring effect on people's psyche. So much that people on their last day of work, find it pointless to say keep -in- touch to his team, they're aware- us,victims of his eternal ridicule wouldn't last very long. Conversely, he becomes a reason for people outside of his team to prolong their stay in the agency and forgiving the misdeeds of their own bosses. To be fair to him, he's not ill-willed or political or much of a pervert conventionally associated with men in advertising. He is plain condescending and a giant egomaniac.

Unfortunately, incredible intelligence coupled with incredible arrogance has destroyed the process of learning for me. No matter how bright the flame of the candle might be, if it is incapable of lighting the stove, it will still starve people. which is why, he urgently needs lessons in leadership and humility to be able to share his copywriting experience with the team. If at any point he reads this, I only have one thing to say-it is possible to be funny without stripping them bare naked mentally and emotionally as if he's secretly struck a business deal with anti depressant pills and self help book retailers in the city. My decision to move out is an active protest against occupational ragging in the interest of advertising professionals at large

3. the crowd is boring and lame as televison soaps. Mediocrity is infectious. If you stay in stale water for too long, you forget what you smelled like when you entered the pool. with my sinus infected nose, I would keep wondering all my life.

4.change has rarely dismayed. 

That apart, I'm going to miss a few like-minded brethren and pray they don't die of anti-depressant overdose. 

More to follow tomorrow.